My JEOPARDY Is DOPER Than Yours!

Salutations. Greetings. What it do? Hello. So I am here at work with little to nothing to do and well I decided that it was a good time as any to dust off the keyboard and share with you my thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams…(okay it’s really not that serious). I was bored and read a fellow bloggers blog and wanted to write to pass the time. Being the case that I have a lot I could talk about and really don’t have the patience to get into any one topic I decided to go the “Blind Item” route…but as I thought about that I thought that was boring so I am going to try something a bit different (so bear with me). I hope today finds you all well (and dry). As always, I have to give the disclaimer: These are MY words and thoughts….I (fucking) swear a lot, I tend to have (outlandish) thoughts or views that some (okay…most) don’t agree with, but I don’t ever mean to outright offend anyone. With that being said…you don’t like my shit…feel free to hit Alt+F4.

::Wonders how many of you hit “Alt+F4”::

“Welcome to another edition of “imDOPERthanyou Jeopardy” Each Blind Item item provided today will be brought to you in the form of an answer. To score points you will have to provide the proper question that fits with the answer to score points. I will be your host today, Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers.”

Contestant Number 1: “I would like to take “Things That Bore Brett” for $300.

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “Sweet baby Jesus! Showing up here has been a complete bore!!! I find that I am spending way more time finding ways to be unproductive here than actually being productive. I know I shouldn’t complain because there are thousands of people who are desperate to be in my position. I think my frustration here in is that I am not being challenged or pushed. I am damn good at my job and I am a fair supervisor but I am bored because I can do this in my sleep. Also office politics have been something that I try to avoid (like questionable pieces of pizza in the break room) but they are making themselves extremely prevalent in my day to day work life. This also has contributed to my boredom and lack of fire or spark to perform as  well as I could (or more specifically should).”

Contestant Number 3: “How Is Work Going”?

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “That is correct! Next category…”

Contestant Number 3: “Can I get ‘Things Brett Could Care Less About This Year’ for, $200”

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “Maybe it’s something about the off field shenanigans this year that have really but a damper on me this year. Whether it is the Ray Rice scandal or the Adrian Peterson “Grab the Switch-gate” or the fact that both the Niners and the Raiders have been and look to be questionable to terrible this year or I forgot to do my Fantasy Draft this year…I just haven’t had the normal fervor or excitement for the game so far this season. I’ve been watching most of the games (thank you God for the NFL Red Zone) I do realize we are only in Week 4…I just can’t seem to get into the spirit. One would think that after a long summer of (forgetting) LeBron losing in the Finals that I would be salivating at the mouth for some sport to watch…hmmm…we shall see.”

Contestant Number 2: “What is the 2014-2015 NFL Season?”

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “That is correct! Next category…”

Contestant Number 2: “Things Brett Finds Perplexing for $600…”

(Daily Double Sound)

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “That’s a DAILY DOUBLE! How much will you wager?”

Constestant Number 2: “ALL OF IT, BRETT!”

“Believe it or not…and despite as much as I talk…I am an extremely guarded person when it comes to my inner thoughts and feelings. I can laugh, joke, be cool, be engaging and work a crowd…but if ever to ask how I feel about something of value and importance I freeze up. That has been a behavior of mine since being a kid and has only been exacerbated over time with various disappointments and points of vulnerability. I recently expressed how I felt about a situation to a friend and all I got back was the blankest stare in the HISTORY of blank stares. God I was embarrassed as FUCK. So to cover up my embarrassment I just tried to quickly change the subject, which didn’t work at all. Afterwards in thinking about it, I got salty for a minute about it….like I really opened up and you just stared at me!?!?! HA! Then I had to take a step back and realize that just because I open up to someone doesn’t mean that my thoughts or feelings or my ability to display or articulate them hold any extra value because that is an area I lack in. I dunno…it bugged me and then I got over it….lessoned learned.”

Contestant Number 2: Is it “Why Am I Being a Sniveling Bitch?”

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “I’m sorry, that is not correct.”

Contestant Number 1: “Why Do I Even Open My Muthafuckin’ Mouth?”

Brett “Muthafuckin” Bowers: “That is correct!!! Well we will be taking our first commercial break…please stay tuned.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

-imDOPERthanyou